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Jun. 2nd, 2004 09:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sgornyI'm feeling particularly evil and vindictive right now.
One of my office staff (25 yrs here) is being "tortured" by her ex-husband because she wants to move 20 miles with their 2 children, 2 girls, age 9 & almost 11. She has made every effort to let them see their dad (giving him 1-3 days more per week than the court order stipulated), even though he cheated on her (which is why she left). He is still with the floozy.
Now, she has been in a good relationship for over 1 yr with an Alaskan fisherman (who lives here), and wants to move to a nicer town (in the same county) and is buying a bigger house ($400K+) than she's ever lived in, and a permanent home for her children for the first time (she's always rented).
So her ex decides that she shouldn't be allowed to move away, because he just bought a house (big) down the street from her rental 1 yr ago, and since she has been generous enough to allow him more time than court ordered with the kids (since he lives near)... so she should be prevented from moving to a beautiful house with her fiance & kids, in a better school district, just because it is 20-25 miles away. And her idiot attourney thinks that her ex has a case.
Now... same county, getting married, pre-teen girls living with their mother, steady (25+yrs) job, no wild life... what the hell is he thinking?
I think he isn't. He had a severe head injury 1 yr ago (was off from work 6 mos because he couldn't remember how to do his job). I think he paid an attourney to go for it, even though the attourney probably thought it was a bad case. But she is so worried, and they may lose out on the new house because of it.
And if the judge doesn't block her move, the ex is suing for custody and a more limited visitation schedule (for her) than he currently enjoys (although the same as originally court ordered, with father as custodial parent).
I've been hearing about this for 2 weeks... and I can't take it anymore. I know a (very wealthy) single doctor in the area who is adept at getting out of anything, especially anything related to relationships/children etc. So I plan to call him tomorrow, find a good family practice attourney, and pay for my staff member's consult. If the new attourney agrees with the original... than great. She can stick with him. ANd if not... a better case is available to her.
Because he has really gone too far, and I feel like he has to be slapped down hard.
One of my office staff (25 yrs here) is being "tortured" by her ex-husband because she wants to move 20 miles with their 2 children, 2 girls, age 9 & almost 11. She has made every effort to let them see their dad (giving him 1-3 days more per week than the court order stipulated), even though he cheated on her (which is why she left). He is still with the floozy.
Now, she has been in a good relationship for over 1 yr with an Alaskan fisherman (who lives here), and wants to move to a nicer town (in the same county) and is buying a bigger house ($400K+) than she's ever lived in, and a permanent home for her children for the first time (she's always rented).
So her ex decides that she shouldn't be allowed to move away, because he just bought a house (big) down the street from her rental 1 yr ago, and since she has been generous enough to allow him more time than court ordered with the kids (since he lives near)... so she should be prevented from moving to a beautiful house with her fiance & kids, in a better school district, just because it is 20-25 miles away. And her idiot attourney thinks that her ex has a case.
Now... same county, getting married, pre-teen girls living with their mother, steady (25+yrs) job, no wild life... what the hell is he thinking?
I think he isn't. He had a severe head injury 1 yr ago (was off from work 6 mos because he couldn't remember how to do his job). I think he paid an attourney to go for it, even though the attourney probably thought it was a bad case. But she is so worried, and they may lose out on the new house because of it.
And if the judge doesn't block her move, the ex is suing for custody and a more limited visitation schedule (for her) than he currently enjoys (although the same as originally court ordered, with father as custodial parent).
I've been hearing about this for 2 weeks... and I can't take it anymore. I know a (very wealthy) single doctor in the area who is adept at getting out of anything, especially anything related to relationships/children etc. So I plan to call him tomorrow, find a good family practice attourney, and pay for my staff member's consult. If the new attourney agrees with the original... than great. She can stick with him. ANd if not... a better case is available to her.
Because he has really gone too far, and I feel like he has to be slapped down hard.
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my comment was too long so I had to break it up...pt 1
Date: 2004-06-02 11:08 pm (UTC)While we were married he met a girl on the internet who lived in Pennsylvania. Not even 2 months after meeting her online he decided it would be a good idea to abandon me and his then barely 3 year old daughter and go to Pennsylvania to be with this girl he only know via internet.
He was gone aprox. 5 months with no contact whatsoever with his child. And then randomly appeared in Jan wanting custody. We went to court where he spout a bunch of bullshit lies about me to the judge and then before I even got the chance to testify the judge decided we should both get home studies done and psychological evaluations so he'd know the reality of the situation instead of these obviously fabricated lies he was spouting forth.
Anyway, we had to share joint custody of Annabelle from July all the way up to mid December. My daughter hated this and every week when her father would come pick her up she'd cry and throw a holy fit.
From Jan to July when our first court date was he had standard visitation with her. Every Wednesday and every other weekend. She was rather fond of that arrangement. So the new arrangement was very stressful to her. She doesn't like to be away from me for very long at a time because she and I are so close.
Needless to say my daughter ended up in therapy because my ex-husband and his new girly person were saying horrible things about me to my daughter and putting her in a position of choosing. It was a very frustrating situation and it was needlessly hard on her.
But the real reason I am posting all this is to tell you the ending of this 11 month long fiasco.
I of course won custody and not even a week after the trail was over he had already moved back to Pennsylvania.
That’s right, the daughter he dragged through a custody battle for 11 months strait, he abandoned at the drop of a hat.
From December of 2002 all the way till this month he has not called or spoken to his daughter. He has not sent her packages or mail. Even though I live in the same place I lived when he was still here and he knows perfectly well my home address. He has not had any of his allotted standard visitations with her. Until a couple weeks ago when he came back for a brief visit. He was here for almost 2 weeks from what I understand and the real kicker is that after all that time of not seeing his daughter he only spent 4 hours with her.
pt 2
Date: 2004-06-02 11:09 pm (UTC)I for one would live in a car if I had too, just to see Annabelle every week. I would sacrifice everything just to be there for her and let her know I care. The motivations behind this sort of behavior rarely have anything to do with the self interest on the child.
As I'm sure Jeremy was not actually considering Annabelle's self interests just as I'm certain this asshole you are referring too is not considering the self interests of your friend’s children.
As for the laws, if Washington is anything like Arkansas in a standard custody agreement there is a clause stating that you may not move out of state without permission of the non custodial parent, unless you petition the court. But moving 20 miles away inside the same state would not hold up legally in court. The judge would most likely laugh at the stupidity of the dispute.
I would guess that your friend’s lawyer is more concerned with fees than actually solving your friend’s problem. A second opinion is an excellent idea. And as long as your friend is a good parent to her children and providing them with a safe and secure home environment there is no way that the father could possibly take her back to court.
Once a custody decision is made it is final unless something happens where the custodial parent is neglecting or abusing the child. He would have to make some very serious claims for this case to ever see the court.
I highly doubt moving 20 miles counts under the abuse and neglect category. Call me crazy.
Anyway sorry for rambling. Your post made me bitter and angry at stupid men. Particularly because the asshole ex which I have referred to so lovingly in this comment...
He hasn't paid child support in 2 months now. I want my 400 bucks.
Children are expensive and men are stupid.